Muster.Your.Courage

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Hmph. Just scaped the last entry.
Didnt see the real reason to why I should really bother to curse and scold the workers.
Afterall, its only their jobthat they do it.

The new year is only less then a day away!
My my my, does time fly fast!
The new year means new resolutions.
Lols. And that will usually mean that I wont complete them and then will proceed to feel gulity as I look back at them.
But that is not always the case.

Wells. Actually. I am quite pleased with myself and what I have accomplished this year.
Have always wanted to go for OBS ever since I heard about it in sec 1. And I did.
Learnt valuable lessons there and made new friends. Was an awesome experience.

Managed to pass my sec 3 overall and moved up.
At the beginning of this year, I was so afraid tht I would retain again.
Even when I was taking my EOY exams, I still had that same thinking.
But I thank God for this guidance and help. I did it! Lols.

And I also managed to find something which I can dedicated my time to.
And that void of mine can now be filled.
You can say that I have found my passion - filming.
Its the whole process of working together in a team and getting things done that really satisfy me.
If the end product turns out well, then it is even better.
But if it doesnt, then I will treat it like an experience.
But nevertheless, through AA, I get to interact with other people
and through that, I have found Rach and Chere.
And to top the cupcake off with a sweet and glistening cherry;I have just got elected to be president. *smiles*
That was something that I thought I could do.
afterall, I can be quite bossy at times and I KNOW that it can get quite irritiating.

And you can say that my social life has improved. Not that it has been very bad for the past years.
Two years ago, when I first entered IJ TP. Life truly sucked BIG time.
Everyone in my class thinks that they were bigshots and almost everyone ignored me.
Thank God for lovely darlings like Liana and Sam Tay.
If it were not for them then, I would be like a real loner. Those were the days. Thank God they were over.
I used to think that I will not be able to miz around with the ppl one year younger then me.
That was before I met up with great class mates like Clarabelle, the twins, angel, claire, grace, cheryl, bern etc.
And amongst these people,there are actually a few that really made an impact and changed my life.
There are Amanda, Gloria, Rach, Chere, Chan.
All four of them taught and showed me more or less the same things; and that is to be more optimisic.
They would greet me with bright smiles everything they see me.
and I know that they will stand by my self when I am down, like how I would do the very same thing.
Though we might have some differences, I thank all of you for your great friendship!

Lastly, my outlook of life.
If you know me just two or three years ago, you would think that I was unfriendly and cold.
I dont smile unless I have to and I used to sigh often.
And i would often say that life was treating me very unfairly.
My morale was so low and I probably even went through bouts of depression.
I didnt want to study at all. Didnt want to eat...
basically just to sit around the house, be in front of the com screen 24/7 and slack.
Wells. I am more or less a changed person now.
A little bit of determination...
A shy smile and wide grin at times.
A little more expressive about my feelings ... and there. You got the new me.
mmm.. and I am still on the path of improving myself..

its the new year soon. But I dont hve the mood to go and celebrate.
Right now, I just feel like snuggling up under my blankie in my bed
and looking at the view out of windows.
The breeze would be just right. Cool and refrshing with the hint of lush green grass and evening sun.
Yeaps. Sometimes if you concentrate just a little bit more, you can even hear the music that the winds are playing.
Lols. Am I speaking senseless stuff now?
Wells. I have made that discovery a few years ago when I was did just that.

It's all about Me.

Monday, December 29, 2003

Wohoo~
Just got my copy of L-C.
totally fab and awesome stuff.
The illustrations were good, the plot was okay.
But it was all in Jap! Couldnt really undesrtand anything.
But nevertheless... enjoyed every single second of it. Lols.

Getting my first tuition today with a new tutor.
And oh. he's a guy.
Wells, You can say that I am a bit bias towards male tutors.
I sometimes think that they cant really teach.
But then again... there is still a slim possibilty that he can.
Hmm.. shall see lata when he comes.

It's all about Me.

Sunday, December 28, 2003

I.AM.PEEVED.
And if you do not know what that means.
'Peeved' means PISSED OFF.SEEING RED.SUPER ANGRY
Argh! *screamcursekickspunchscreamandthensomemore*
Now, give me a moment to cool off before continuing.

SPend the whole of today trying to finish my holiday homework
because I THOUGHT that I would be going OUT TMR...
But NNNNOOOO....
Some person just got to.... *clenches fist and grinds teeth*

I think I need more then a 'while' to cool down.
Just super pissed now...

It's all about Me.

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Mmm.. just coming in to do a quick blog before I log off to do some stuffs.
Managed to bake my white chocolate cookies
but they appeared to be a little burnt on the surface dued to the brown sugar that was added.
Only made a few batches and gave them all out.
gave some to aunties and a box to William.
And he sms-ed comenting that it was nice. MM.. not bad for a first on that recipe.

Spent both Christmas eve and the day before that over at two different aunt's house.
Ate lots of chicken, turkey, beef, honey baked ham, herb ham(?), curry chicken with potato
Oh. And not forgetting all of that with a huge portion of rice.
Wells. who realy cares about their weight when it's CHRISTMAS?
And besides it a blessing to be able to chew and taste and experience.

Then got to wake up early on Christmas morning to sing for mass.
It was okay alhough the homily was a wee bit draggy.
But then again, it was Fr. Peter Tan that was celebrating. Lols. You get the pt, dont u?

There was the Fans-tasia today that happened in Expo
and went for that with Tmao.
Wells. It was a first hand experience for me but I was quite disappointed
because I expected alot more.
There was only a few stalls that was selling random stuffs and drawings.
But I got to comment that their drawings were like ... creme de la creme.
Every new piece of drawing always seems better then the last.
That was definetly a large eye opener for me.

Oh. And I found out something the 'painful' way.
When cosplayers adorn on their costumes,
they have this atittude that they carry around with them.
It seems like they dont like to mix around with 'outsiders' (ppl who are not cosplayers)
and they tend to only hang around with their own ppl.
I mean, I went all the way there for you.
Too see you at the thing that you enjoyed the most
To try to understand why you like cosplaying so much
and you treat me as if I was invisible.
Is it really that hard to show concern towards me for just a little while.
Thank God Teddy was accompaning me.
In fact, sometimes I dont even know why I care so much about you.

After tat, mao and I decided to go to the 'Bodyworks' exibitation.
Paid the amounted price (lols. Mao was complaiing how unfair the pricing was for for poly students)
and started exploring, woahhing and ahhin and trying to absorb as much info as our mind can hold.
There was a perticular part that featured embryos,
growth of babies at the differnt stages and birth abnormals.
Mm.. I didnt like the idea of having nightmares and scary myself silly
so I didnt walk in.
Mao did.. lols. But til now, after watching the abortion video last year,
I still cant stomach the fact that people can be so cruel to babies.
So I have decided to put the whole 'babies' thing off totally.
Maybe that is the reason why I dont go coo-ing and exclaiming that babies are sooo cute.
And if you observe well, I sometimes inch away from prams.

Went for dinner at the KFC that is around my house with mao.
Chatted about alot of things.
Got to know a little more about mao.
And I realised that no matter what position you hold in the future,
you must always learn how to eat the humble pie.
And of course, do it because you want to.
Not because you are forced to.
Always remember your roots and try to understand other ppl.
That way, things might just turn out for the better.

Rights. Lols. This sentence marks the end of the 'short' entry.
Heys. No one just forced you to read it.
It MY life.
I LOVE the way I do things.
so LIVE with it... or back off. Baka.

It's all about Me.

Monday, December 22, 2003

I.GIVE.UP
I cant bake for nuts.

It's all about Me.

Sunday, December 21, 2003

OKies everyone. I have got an announcement to make. I am offically on a diet.
A only-one-biscuit-a-day diet.
My goal is to be an an anorexic by the end of next month.
I want my face to be so thin that it will turn pointy.
And for the veins in my hands and feet to surface.
Aah..purplish-green, what an exotic mixture of colours.
I want bones to junt out.
I must learn to detest food.
Learn to reject glorious food like burgers and fries and gas-sy drinks.
But if I am in a mood good, I'll probably treat myself to another piece of biscuit.
Not the chocolate or the ones filled with cream.
One small piece of plain biscuit is enough for me, thank you.
- Right -

Went to get a hair cut yesterday in the afternoon.
Wells. Got the usual hair cut. Layered but shorter by one inch.
I could always get whatva else hair style I wanted
but mom prefered to get my hair tied.
She claims that it looks more neat and tidy that way.
Yea right.
If I wanted, I could even make my tied up hair look messy.

The weather these few days are sooo cold. Especially yesterday night.
Returned at 12am plus yest after church,
did a little paper work and then got ready for bed.
Mom insisted that I wore a long sleeved shirt and track pants to sleep.
So to please her, I did so.
Anyways, I am glad that I did because from the very moment my bare feet touched my bedsheet,
I nearly yelp and jumped out.
Lols. The sheets were cold. And so were the floor.
Man.. I really need to grab a pair of nice, warm slippers to wear around the house.
Was thinking of getting one with pink bunnies on it. Soo adorable.
I have been shopping aorund for it, but cant seem to find it. Lols.
*asks sweetly* Can someone please get a pair for me for christmas?

Damned. my mom just came in with a plate of maggie mee with tomato sause and vinegar.
The sweet aroma of sweet and sour sauce.
Man.. Am I am hungry. Havnt eaten for the whole day.
With that heavenly smell surrounding my nosils,
the only thing that is keeping me from turning around and asking my mom for a mouthful
is only the loud music that I am blasting on my earphones.
But I must perserve... Perserve Rosemary. You can do it.
Right. Let me run before I do just that.

It's all about Me.

Friday, December 19, 2003

Currently in school during my F&N crap.
Lots and lots of figures to count and calculate.
But then again, I am not the only going through this.
I have Amanda sitting beside me!3
She's probably blogging about her experience with LOTR.
Lols, I wanted her to tell me the ending of the trilogy but she refused too!
She claims that it will spolit the whole movie if she did.
Oh! And she gave me my christmas present today.
A squishy pillow that is heart shaped. Really adorable.
I have been eyeing on one of these for quite some time,
only that I didnt go and buy it.
Then amanda popped up with her.
Thanks Amanda! *huggles*
Now that I look at it, my present for her looks small and puny.
Bought for her chocolate.. hahs.
Wait.. shes not supposed to know til' I pass it to her. Lols.

Sighs. There is still Jap class this evening.
Sensei can get really whiny at times.
He talks too much irrelvant stuffs and that puts me off.
Lols. Thank the person who invented sweets.
Becuse that is the only thing that keeps me awake at troubled times like this.

Woot. So happy.
Finished all my christmas shopping in one day.
And wells, that either means that I have fast legs
or it means that I have little friends. Lols.

Feeling quite tired. Want to go home now. Adios.

It's all about Me.

Monday, December 15, 2003

I am terribly bored out of my mind now.
And to occupy my time, I read Yaoi fan fics.
Stuffs that are corrupting my pure mind.
Sometimes I think to myelf - Why am I doing this?
I could get out of my house and get a life outside.
But than again, I am more of a homely type of a person.
I prefer to 'snuggle' under the comforts of my house.
Yet there is nothing I can do while I am here.
And the worst thing is that I dont even have much food stored at home
despite having three fridges in my living room. *Dont ask*
And I am famished like ...constantly.

Oh, of course, i could spend my time usefully by revising my work.
After all, I have been complaining that I am too lazy.
Either that or have no time.
So Now I hv all the time in the world, so I can do it right?
Wrong.
As much as I love to do that, I can constantly feel a stong pull towards the com.
Whether the com is switched on or off. And I couldnt possibly resist.
Okies. That was just one of my lame excuses not to do anything productively.

Crap. I better go and do some healthy activities
before my mind gets caged in that wordly, dark world.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time: 11.24pm
Mood: quite happy but tired.

OKies. So my day wasnt wasted after all.
Went to church for the evening mass.
Then hopped over to Mom's workplace for dinner.
Had pasta with lots of pinic ham and button mushrooms.
Did a little shopping around CityLink and found Chere's christmas preeize!
Hahas. That's one tick off my list. Got a few more to go.
But I am kinda clueles on what to get for some! Hahas..

After that, arranged some last minute meeting with Dears Liana.
She was actually on a date with her boyfriend when I asked her out.
So there was like this extra person along.
hahas. Not that I mind. In fact, her bf was kinda like the adorable kind.
Can see that there are so sweet together as a couple.
Oh Gosh, I am already getting cavities just thinking about them.
Imagine what happened when there was in front of me.

Oh and lols, when we had our coffee, we sat beside this pond of still water.
I sat cross-legged and was staring at my shoes.
And I suddenly had this idea.
'Since my shoes look so light, they can probably float on water..'
And Lo and behold, when I tested it.. it FLOATED!
Lols. It was such a good laugh.

Wells, seems like tmr wont be a wasted day too.
Going to church to paint the statue.
I really want to learn a thing or two from my dad.
So I can carry on the tradition..
From all the past banner painting, I realise something.
I am kinda good at it.
And more importantly, I enjoy doing it. Hahas.
So am going down tmr to practice.

It's all about Me.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

*Bbbbrrrrr....*
I am freezing cold and I have not even left the comfort of my sit in front of the computer.
The weather these few days are terrible.
It is always raining non-stop all days
and icy cold winds in the evening and late at night.
And I am FREEZING all time long.
If you can see me now,
I am wearing blue coloured gloves to warm my cold fingers
and have my lovely blankie draped over my shoulders.
Lols.. not a sight to be widely publicized but rather funny.

Parents went out to PS to get a new hp for me today.
If you know of the sad story of my beloved 8250, it died on me once.
So I had to give it up.
Anyways, got a 6610.
Wanted to get a 7250i but thought otherwise.
6610, its not a new phone, it came out about a year ago.
I am not the type that goes for all the 'cool' features.
All I need is something which can work and can call, can liao.
Very easy-going phone.. user-friendly.

3 more weeks.
3 more weeks and I will be waking up at 6 plus everyday...
do my daily morning routine
and will beheading off to school. Whether I like it or abhor it.
How fast time flies!
And I am supposed to revise on my sec three work,
and what hav I been doing all these while? Zlinch.
I feel so irresopsible and so undisciplined. *roars*

Okies, I got to zonk out of my bed now before I freeze to death on my chair.
Not very sightly, dont you think?

It's all about Me.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Was supposed to wake up early today cos for the last few days, I felt that the day was too short for me.
SO I set my alarm clock at 8 am
And it did went off at that time.
But the lazy me just slammed down the button and continue sleeping.
The funny thing was I didnt even open my eyes to do that...
my palms were like searchign for that button om my nightstand. Hahas.

Anyways, woke up at my usual timing - 10 plus.
Attempted to watch the repeated cast of wqyl
but had to gave in to my growling stomach and went downstairs in search of food.
Ate a plate of Mee Siam for breakfast.
Hopped over to the paint shop and got a can of red paint.
I was supposed to get only a small bottle cos there isnt much to paint left,
but that was out of stock so I had to grab the big can.
Hopefully my dad needs red paint in the future or the thing will go to waste. *Sweatdrop*

Got online and went through some blogs.
Namely Chere, Tsu's bubbly sister and some others.
Hahas. Really like Tsu's sister's blog layout. So Christmasy....
And when we went to Tsu house, she baked cookies with chunks of white chocolates in it.
*Yum* Her baking is heavenly. Would die for some more. *hint hint*

Alrights. Got to go and paint the remainding red. That would be for the director's chair.
Hahahs...
ooh. And mom did mention that we can bake some stuffs together
since she is getting off from work early today. Cant wait.
And I AM NOT A Pedophile. Lols. I dont know where did that come from? Tsu rite?
I go for prefectly, mature man. (Or woman in some cases) *winks*

It's all about Me.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Suddenly have the urge to blog, so here I am.
Mmms. It has been three days since I have last typed anything down here.
Quite a number of things have happened btw these three days
but to keep the long story short, I will only enter the interesting bits.

On Monday, went down to Orchard to meet up with Nanny, Fiona and Pearl.
Quan Jie was supposed to come but that kid has got exams, so he didnt.
We were at Starbucks and then everyone grew hungry so we hopped right next to the FFC just next door.
They did much of the talking
while I was just playing the album which I have just burnt for nanny by Britney Spears - In The Zone,
and 'Spider' on Nanny's laptop.
Hehe.. feel so gulity now. I didnt contribute much.

Went over to Rach hse yest with Chere to paint our THIRD banner.
I dont know what has gotten into me when I suggested to paint another banner.
Anyways, It was fun and we were all watching Discovery channel that was showing glorious food,
shopping in LA (With Tsu screaming Yoshiki's name at every other second).
And then we switch to AXN.
Didnt manage to finish painting the banner so I had to bring it home and paint.
Planning to do that tmr since I will always try my best to leave my Wednesdays free.
Anyone wants to lend a helping hand with painting the banner? Ahahs.

Argh. The construction nosie around my block is seriously annoying me.
I cant sleep in late like I used to
and I ALWAYS wake up grumpy
which will make my mom grumpy ...
Then my whole day would be ruin.
Every single day, that would be the morning routine.
Idiotic, dont you think?

It's all about Me.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

There is a reason to everything that I am doing.
There is always a reason.
Like for example: I went for friend's confirmation today at Holy Spirit's Church because I promised her that I will turn up.
It was located at Upper Thomson Road, somewhere where I dont know how to get to.
SO my mom and I took a Taxi there.
We were in a rush (duh, I was going to be late) so we told the drice to hurry
and he took a 'shorter' way (or so he claims)
But sad to say, my mom isnt excatly a road illerate.
She roughly knows where the church is located only that she doesnt know what bus to take.
Anyways, the driver took one BIG round just to earn extra cash and both of us got really irritated with her. (Mom & I)
Mom was irritated cos she knew that the driver was lying about taking the 'shorter route'
and I was irritiated because I was going to be late for mass.
I make it a point never to be late for any mass.
Then just as he was about to make a U-turn around a bend to reach the entrance of the Church,
It so happened that a vehicle behind the taxi banged into the taxi's curb(?)
Served him right on that one. Idiot.

Went in for mass and missed like only 5 mins of it so it was okies.
Sat right at the back cos it was my first time there.
I mean, I really hate irresposible people.
I shall not go in to that part because all it does is anger me and it is a cooling night,
I dont wished to be reminded of how selfish people can get.
So the mass went as usual and I think there is a reason where I was there today.
*okies, this part tends to be rather weird, so if you dont understand, nvm*
The Lord spoke to me through the arch bishop's homily!
No kidding about this.
Wells, what he said I cant say...
But if what I discern is right then i'll most prob blog it down later.
But for the meantime, I'll just keep it to myself to see whether it is right or nt.
Only time will tell.

Then took a bus down to Ns.
Got on the wrong bus, was damned pissed.. i mean. what a waste of my time.
I was already late.. and I hate being late for anything.
The mass ended late, I took the wrong bus, I met irresposible people.
With everything added together, I was damned pissed.
But that is besides the point.
Met up with Chere and Rachel.
Lovely girls, they are.
They cheered me up unintentionally and sighs. i really love the both of them
Chere is the cutest, most innocent girl I have known.
When you see her, you just want to hug and hug and hug her.
And she doesnt even have a temper (that is so opposite my character)
Rachel is really fun to be with. She is all smiles all the time.
And those that do not know her THAT well will think that she is a fake.
That statement is FALSE.
She is really nice to be with.

When we painted finish the banner, we waited for it to dry.
SO we lied on Chere's woody bed (with a slide!) and talked...
Then we sang songs (I know, that sounds almost impossible) and
Rachel suddenly had the idea of cooking instand noodles.
Oh. And trust her to be creative..
she cooked instant noodles with 3 slices of cheese.
I know, I know.. that sounds disgusting but actually if you give it a try..
it 'does not taste as bad as it looks' Hahahs.
That was quoted by Rachel.
Funny girl...

Anyways, long long blog.
Not as if anyone aCTUALLY reads my bloggings.
I seriously hope that some of you can actually really appreicate for all that I am doing.
For all the efforts and all you do is give me some kind of shit.
I hate it when people take my presence for granted.
I am NOT your pet. I am not at your beck and call.
GROW UP!

It's all about Me.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

have you been touched so much that you just feel like you are overwhelmed?
So much so that you feel like tear-ing?
Wells, I am currently very close to that.
Madeline, my cousin whom I am not very close to sent me an e-mail.
She thanked me and from her email, you can see that she felt as overwhelmed as I am feeling now.
All just because I sent her a little ecard.
This is what she wrote:

This is a little tribute to my dearest angel - Rosemary. One day out of the blue she sent me an ecard. At the moment, it reallie touched my heart, cuz we were not reallie that close in the first place. It was reallie sweet of her to have sent me something so nice... So, I started sending people ecards. I'm sure quite a few people benefited from this single act of kindness.

I never believed in sending ecards... Now, I believed in sending one's concern thru the ecard. And it's just because of 1 individual's act of kindness. It's like gOd's love... Like ripples in the lakes... a single drop but filling everyone else with his love.

Sometimes, in all the act of kindness, you do not have to understand how much the single, simple act has on the recieveing end ... UNTIL you have recieved, such kindness would you then understand the value of such kindness. And it's all becuase of 1 single gal.

If u have benefitted at any point for this little ecard sending thing, please email Rosemary: jesslee_@hotmail.com that she will continue to be the little angel in everyone's life. NOw, it's up to u to do

Thanks Rosemary

Madeleine

I am not trying to say or prove anything here.
Its just that she just touched me in doing this.
And in a way, I am grateful for what she is doing.
I nver really knew how much a simple ecard can make someone feel this way.
When you receieved an email in your Inbox saying that you have an ecard that you got to pick up
what do you do?
Some may ignore, others may glance through it,
the rest just reads it half heartedly.
But how many times have YOU sent an ecard to someone whom you care?
Not many.
That is how I feel towards this whole episode.
To send an ecard to your beloved ones or not to,
the choice is yours.
Where as I, I will continue doing it
because I know that whom ever is on the recieving end is smiling.

It's all about Me.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

*cursecursecurse* I am so pissed at myself.
So very pissed.
My handphone finally gave up on me and died today.
I couldnt charge it, I couldnt even switched it on!
And dammit. 1/2 of my phone nos. are stored in the phone's phonebk!
And that means... aRGh. Gone.. all the nos. are gone.
All my teacher's no. are gone...
All my ex-school friend's no. are gone...
All the impt phone no.s are gone!
So irritating! Irritiating! That just shows how much I rely on the damn thing.

And I have broken my own record of how many hours I spent online doing my F&N.
When I last checked the timer, it was recorded 9 hours and 14 seconds.
Yups, that was how long I spent doing my F&N.
And if you were online yesterday and was chatting through MSN,
you would know how tired and irritiated I was at the computer.
And how much I hate typing and typing and typing. Typing non-stop.
Anyways, finished my research and 1/2 through my development.
Just have to find the recipes, anaylise it, bullshit a little more and I am DONE!
*phew*

Going out with Liana after this. Cant wait... if you know wat i mean. *Winks*

It's all about Me.