Muster.Your.Courage

Monday, August 22, 2005

Monday, August 22, 2005

An Aunt from the choir once told me this:

"This is how you get your motivation. Even if you don t like your job, you do it well. That way, you will get your job satisfaction. And when you leave the place, you will walk out the front door with your head held high."

After much thought, I am beginning to grasp what she was trying to say then. If you have given your best shot, you know you have tried. So even if you fail, you will not fall as miserably as compared to someone who has not even tried at all. To me, life is all about experiencing and gaining experience with each fall and rise. With a greater fall, you may find it hard to pick yourself up again but when you finally succeed, the sense of satisfaction would be so great; you will emerge as someone who is stronger and better then before.

You know, some people have their lives easy. They are born with a sliver spoon in their mouth, are waited on hand and foot, have all the luxuries that money can buy but frankly speaking, they have their lives laid out for them (some even before they were born!), wouldn t that make their life seem mundane, hollow and unfulfilled? Sure, they wouldn't have to worry about funds but will they ever experience what is it like to earn their own money?

All I want to say is one can choose how one wishes to live his life. Life will not always be a bed of roses but at least, I know that at the end of the long road, when all my hair has turned slivery white, I am going to sit on my rocking chair, look back at my life and smile.

In fact, right now, I am learning to smile at my yesterday, start today and live tomorrow.
You should too because life is waaaay to short to waste.

It's all about Me.

Monday, August 22, 2005

I have only been working for two days but these are some of the things I have learnt:

My male boss is a pathetic, money pinching, chummy little man. He does not allow us any meals and drinks from the place but we pinch anyway. Just yesterday, he asked the kitchen to prepare him lunch. It was roasted chicken thigh with sauteed vegetables and mash potatoes. While he was eating at the back, I walked in with the dirty dishes and he had the cheek to ask me if I have eaten. When I said 'no', he shut his mouth and continued eating. What a pig! He could have offered me some food. I wanted to retort but I bit my tongue and walked out.

The head chef is balding and is very cheeky. Ever since yesterday, he never calls me by my name anymore. It has since been changed to "sweetie", "pretty" and "beautiful". I think he needs a fuck pretty badly.

They use an old dish washer cum rag to wipe the ice cream tubs. It's seriously disgusting, dude! Apparently, since days before, they have misplaced the clean sponge so they just grabbed anything they could find. I guess I never want to touch that ice cream again.

Before I knew they started using the dish cloth, I did the filthiest thing. On my first day of work, everyone was ordering me around. They wanted to do all the walking, serving, cleaning, collecting plus the long hours, I got so pissed that when they asked me to store the ice cream tubs into the freezer, I couldn't resist adding in some 'extra special' ingredients of my own. I sneezed, licked, bit, and coughed right into the ice cream. No shitting. Furthermore, I did all these with the boss standing right outside the door. If only he fucking knew...

Okay, I so did not do all that last point.
I only licked.

It's all about Me.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

This evening, I was called from 'hot' to 'not'.
Or rather, words from his very own mouth "You look like an Auntie! But a nicely dressed young Auntie." Goodness. As if the second sentence was going to make the first one sound any better. But lols, at least he was being frank with me. Looks like I am more suited for plain jeans and t-shirts. They never go out of fashion.

Went out with Amansie for dinner. Even though she looked fine, I could tell that she was tired. Had a delightful plate of 'slipper lobster linguine in tomato sauce' over at Taka then we proceeded to Ang Mo Kio for Arcade. Wah..so fun! Today was the first time I have ever completed Time Crisis 2! Hahas.

Said Goodbyes, took a train down to Bishan to take a bus over to friend's house. I was sitting at the bus stop waiting for the bus to come when from the corner of eye, I saw this couple leaning against the metal bars. "Nothing new," you might say. What was out of the ordinary was that these were two young girls (probably in their JCs), short-haired, holding hands and genuinely looking very happy. When I was observing them, (don t worry, they were too caught up with each other to notice me. And that is a good thing) I was suddenly hit with a mixture of feelings. Jealousy? Maybe. Envy? Probably. Regrets? Perhaps. After several moments, I finally manage to come out with a conclusion. The one feeling that I was struck with the most was 'courage' and a certain amount of warmth. Ok, that makes two feelings. Wait, there's another – awe. So THAT makes three. Hahas. Alright, what I am trying to say here is that they have the courage to face all that narrow-minded, curious alike gazes while still holding hands in public. Not afraid of the criticism and finger pointing. How I wish I was like that. Then again, like they always say "when you re in love, everything else to you is oblivious".

Shrugs I wouldn't know. I havn't really been in love.

It's all about Me.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Excerpt from Liana's blog:

Sunday, August 14, 2005
numb legs.. late night.. china black..
.. Rose looks hot in a tube.. such a rarity
.. Mark, interesting fella. slick, cool and smooth
.. rose didn't wanna leave the dance floor.. she hadn't had enough.. first timer.. not her last i'm sure.. definitely not her last
..thanks darlings.. for asking me out..

ROFL!
Sure, Liana! Anytime!!

It's all about Me.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Karma.

I am not someone who believes in luck or fate because luck is random.
I believe in the word ‘blessed’.
When I receive something that I need or want, I call it a blessing, not luck.
Blessings happen, luck is chance.
Though I deeply believe in something called ‘karma’.
To me, karma is doing something for someone who might do it in favour for someone else. It’s like this never ending, existing energy source that is being passed around, only that it grows with each person.
Karma bites back too, be it good or bad.
Like for example, I sent a greeting card to a close friend of mine to remind him that he is very much missed by me.
A few days later, another friend of mine sent me an e-card saying the same thing, only with me on the receiving end.
I just love Karma, sometimes.

Went out with Liana for dinner today at Pizza Hut. It was my first proper meal of the day. Lots of carbohydrate but it was worth it. Yum.
Now I just feel so bloaty and satisfied and sleepy.
I wanna go sleep now.

It's all about Me.